10 Marriage Myths
Relationship There are two kinds of love. There’s passionate love and there’s compassionate love. Passionate Love Passionate love is the love at the beginning of a relationship. It’s the excitement and the romance and illogical arousal that you experience when you really don’t know your partner. We know that passionate... more
That’s How I Was Raised. . .
Relationship . . .is the biggest cop-out ever used. And the saddest part of it is that we really believe that the way we were raised is the way to live. This means that therapists everywhere are going to have to spend at least some time in therapy trying to... more
An Affair To Remember
Fidelity Once a relationship moves past the butterfly stage and into the less exciting and more routine stage, you and your partner need to be more deliberate about keeping your relationship on track. A romantic relationship does not just happen; it is created. This emotionally intimate bond you share with... more
The First Step to Stop a Divorce
Relationship The First Step to Stop a Divorce… …is to stop thinking about it. That’s right, you read that correctly. In actual fact the reality we live in is the direct result of our thoughts. This is very, very powerful when you SEE it. We give attention and power to... more
Is Marriage Possible After a Separation?
Relationship A common assumption is that separation always leads to divorce. This is a myth! I believe that with some hard work on the part of couples that this does not always have to be the case. I have worked with many couples who have used separation to improve their... more
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Communication All couples disagree. This can be a healthy component in any relationship. But when disagreements become knock-down, drag-outs, or are petty and constant, they will begin to cut down on the lifespan of a relationship. Many disagreements are petty, and though some may signal a larger problem (e.g. fighting... more
Sometimes Nothing Is Better
Relationship When people experience relationship difficulties, the tendency is to look for and apply some “solution” to the problem. Our approach may derive from either of two resources; the rebellious or the rational. We may respond from our own distress of the moment or from an “innate certainty” about the... more
The Anger-Dependent Marriage
Communication Sandy and Greg had been married for ten years, had two healthy kids and were committed to family values. They had one major problem — they couldn’t seem to disagree without getting into a fight. Within five minutes of a therapy visit, they were both bickering. Sandy would make... more
Unforgiveness: What’s the Payoff?
Relationship When couples ask me what the number one killer of marriages today is, I’ll usually answer with this: “Pride.” Pride, in my mind, is at the root of so many marital problems and can easily lead to resentment, grudges, stalemates, and eventually, a complete disconnect. Pride is that part... more
Unplug So You Can Plug Into Your Marriage
Communication In the information age it seems there’s no end to devices to help us stay connected. There are all sorts of mp3 players, tablets, laptops, desktops, gaming consoles and other devices that help keep us informed of the latest and greatest in the world and they’re all becoming increasingly... more
Is My Marriage Over?
Counseling Couples often come to therapy as a last straw before getting divorced. In my experience as a therapist and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, CO (www.TheMarriageAndFamilyClinic.com) by the time couples finally go to counseling, they have often been through the ringer and back and feel... more
The Five Stages of Marriage
Relationship Spouses are often dismayed when time passes and their marriage isn’t as blissful as it used to be. As a couples therapist, I’ve found that many people are relieved to discover there are stages in relationships. Partners can relax and feel a renewed sense of hope when they realize... more
Master Your Attitude: Bolster Your Confidence to Stay Sexy for Your Spouse
Relationship You are in control of your own mood. I’ll say it again: YOU are in control of YOUR own mood. This is probably the most important piece of advice I give to people, regardless of where they are in their relationships. What this means, is that no matter what... more
Help Your Spouse with Bipolar Disorder
Counseling Marriage presents challenges to the healthiest of partners, so many people wonder how couples manage when one spouse suffers from a mood disorder. Millions of people are affected by bipolar disorder, a mood disorder that can cause frustration, worry, irritation and anger for both partners in marriage. With appropriate... more
Perspective: The First Step to Effective Communication
Communication Real communication is a staple of any successful relationship. This means more than a quick conversation over dinner, or half-listening to the TV while your spouse is talking. Real communication occurs when both parties are invested and interested in the conversation. Communication is a dialogue, not a monologue. One-Sided... more
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