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Finances
Strengthen Your Marriage by Putting Finances in Order
By Cynthia Cooper, Ph.D.
Did you know that 43% of all married couples argue over money
issues, making it the major reason couples fight? If you and your
spouse handle money differently, now is the time to talk, establish
expectations, and draw up a financial plan.
Money is a very big part of a marriage. Having
enough to spend, and to do the things each wants to do, is important
to both parties. When couples are not able to do that, then other
issues pop up in the relationship. When husband and wife are not on
the same page as far as family finances go, other difficulties
inevitably arise.
Effective communication often emerges as the most
difficult obstacle to establishing goals and expectations, and
developing a financial plan. Many of us have been taught during
childhood that discussing money is somehow inappropriate.
Couples must understand that it is not only appropriate but
absolutely necessary to managing finances in a marriage. Just as
finances must be planned in a business, they must also be planned in
a marriage. You must communicate in spite of any difficulty.
For example, how do you get your spouse to
understand that he or she will need to curb their spending habits so
that you both can begin putting money away?
There s got to be a viable agreement, because most
couples discover that a lack of money, a lack of spending control,
or a lack of fall-back savings eventually causes other problems in a
marriage. Little things grow into much bigger things.
However, as emphasized by Daniel Smith a noted financial expert
cited in The Marriage Medics, future arguments over finances can be
avoided by simply communicating, creating an understanding of
expectations, setting objectives and agreeing on a financial
roadmap.
The Marriage Medics outlines the following
financial plan of attack for couples of any age:
1. Stop living beyond your means.
2. Treat the household like a business.
3. Create an income-and-expense statement.
4. Create a balance sheet.
5. Create a budget.
6. Figure out how to pay down your debt. Agree
on a plan of action in which you both share equally in cutbacks.
7. Find ways to cut expenses.
8. Go on a debt diet starting with the little
stuff.
9. Have only one credit card for your entire
family.
10. Celebrate when you pay off a debt.
There are many resources for help in creating
family budgets and living within them. For instance, Jim Miller, a
Registered Investment Advisor, author of Retire Dollar Smart, and
the host of a financial advice radio show is an excellent source.
Visit his web site at:
www.retiredollarsmart.com.
In sum, married couples have an important opportunity to plant the
seeds for a healthy marriage by simply talking with each other,
being realistic about expectations, and making that financial plan.
Money matters!
Copyright 2005 Cynthia Cooper
Cynthia Cooper, Ph.D., is a clinical
psychotherapist and co-author of The Marriage Medics which you can
obtain via http://www.themarriagemedics.org
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