How to Create Excitement in Your Marriage
Marriage isn’t always as exciting as when you were first dating. Sometimes it just becomes bland. This doesn’t mean that your marriage is in trouble and it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your spouse anymore, it just means that your marriage isn’t as exciting as it used to be. It also means that your marriage could be improved. It needs a little more life to it.
Humans are creatures of habit. We find a comfortable routine that works and we stick to it. We do the same in our marriage, too. We find a comfortable routine and we stick to it. As a couple you go out to eat at the same places, get together with the same friends, go to the same activities each year, etc. That’s fun for us and we enjoy the predictability. It feels safe.
Habit isn’t always so great for your relationship
Unfortunately routine and habit aren’t so good for marriage. Your marriage should be exciting, fun and interesting. One way to do this is to add spontaneity to your marriage. Do things you don’t usually do together. Try new thing.. This is great for your marriage because it helps you find out new things about your spouse that perhaps you never knew.
Make Sure you Adapt with The Times
I taught a college class on marriage and family relationships. As I was talking about how relationships change over time, one of the students raised her hand and said jokingly “My fiancé’ better not change! I married him for who he is. If he changes from that, he won’t be my husband for long!”
The class got a good laugh. I responded by saying “Really? You’d want your 50 year old husband to act like he’s 20?” The class stopped laughing and started taking notes.
The point is, your marriage will change over time. It’s supposed to. As a result, the habits you made in your relationship five or ten years ago may not be all that great for your relationship now. Be adaptive and accepting of change when it comes.
As a matter of fact, seek out change. You can do this by seeking out new things and trying new things with your spouse. This helps you get to know them in new ways and makes sure you’re always learning new things about each other.
Adding excitement to your marriage is fun and entertaining. That’s the best part about it. Lots of couples say they don’t have time to do because they’re too busy in the day to day run around. If you use those excuses you’re doing it wrong. You’re looking at it more like a chore (just like chaufering your kids to soccer or getting homework done). If it’s exciting enough, you’ll want to do it. You’ll even look forward to it. Now, that’s exciting.
About the Author:
Aaron Anderson is a marriage counselor and owner of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado. He has taught at the university level, presented at local and national conferences and is a regular contributor to various blogs and websites all related to marriage and families. He is also on the Board of Directors for the Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. You can view his blog at: http://Blog.TheMarriageAndFamilyClinic.com
You can also follow him on Twitter: @MarriageDr