|
Christian Insights
Faith vs. Family
By Michael Webb
A few years ago I was traveling to California to do a television
taping. A man sat next to me and we struck up a conversation. When
he found out that I wrote and spoke about relationships, he asked me
a
question that had been on his mind for some time.
He wanted to know what advice I would give to
someone who wanted to marry a person of a different religious faith.
He grew up Jewish and his girlfriend grew up as a Christian.
How important is it that couples share the same religion? Some would
have you believe that all religions are equally good - just
different strokes for different folks.
But picking a religion is not like going to an ice cream parlor with
32 flavors to chose from. At the ice cream parlor you might go for
vanilla while the person you are dating chooses fudge ripple. In ice
cream, there is no "correct" choice. By nature of religion, there
are many wrong choices. Here are just a few of the religions and their teachings on eternal
life.
___________
Christianity
___________ Christianity teaches that the only way to eternal life is through
the gift that Jesus Christ gave to the world -- living perfectly
then being sacrificed so that all might live with God forever.
______
Islam
______
Islam teaches that Jesus Christ was only a prophet
and that to claim
he is God is blasphemous. To go to Paradise one must repent of his
or
her sins and then strive to live a life of goodness.
_________
Judaism
_________
Judaism believes that Jesus Christ was not the promised Messiah. To
worship Jesus Christ is blasphemous. A relationship with God is
built
by following certain rules and laws as outlined in Old Testament
scripture.
__________
Hinduism
__________
Hinduism teaches that one is reborn over and over again and based on
good works, one might achieve a higher level each time.
As you can see, all these religions cannot be true as almost all
contradict each other. Therefore, most people who are truly
convicted
in their religious faith cannot possibly believe that "all spiritual
roads lead to heaven/nirvana/paradise."
Even within religions there are subsets of traditions and beliefs.
Some groups stay near the core beliefs of the faith while others
venture out to the fringes, emphasizing practices and teachings that
are not embraced by most in their religion.
So, how does religion affect relationships? If you are convicted
that eternal life rests in doing things a certain way, would you not
deeply desire for your sweetheart to understand that concept so you
could
share eternity with them?
And if the two of you had children would you want
your mate teaching them one way to live their life while you
instruct your children to do things much differently?
Just because your sweetheart isn't practicing his or her faith now,
it
doesn't mean they wont in a year or two. Many men and women suddenly
have a yearning to reconnect to the religion of their youth once
they have children.
Also, tragedies can cause some to suddenly realize
that there is an emptiness inside them that can't be filled by
material things and they begin a spiritual quest for real meaning in
their life.
While tolerance, love, joy, peace and understanding are hallmarks of
most of the world's main religions, someone with deep religious
convictions must put God/Allah/Buddha etc. first, even before
family.
A truly dedicated follower would never loosen
their religious morals
and value just to keep peace in a relationship.
If you are considering dating or marrying (or have already married)
someone of a different faith, think about doing these things:
__________________
Consideration #1
__________________
Commit to do a formal study into each other's religion. Try to see
if the church has some sort of "new believers" class or workbook.
Converting" without fully knowing what you are converting to shows
that you really don't care about your spiritual life.
__________________
Consideration #2
__________________
Attend several religious services with your sweetheart. You might
find the traditions and teachings rewarding or revolting. Better to
know sooner than later.
__________________
Consideration #3
__________________
Pray to your Creator to guide you to the right spiritual path "
not just the one that seems the easiest.
__________________
Consideration #4
__________________
If you are intimate with your girlfriend/boyfriend and you curse,
get drunk and have a mean streak, don't expect them to think highly
of
your religion. On the other hand, if you chose to remain pure, and
you are gentle, loving, kind and giving, it will be far easier for
him
or her to be interested in finding out what makes you that way.
__________________
Consideration #5
__________________
Discuss in advance what each of you would teach your children about
these issues:
- Who is the Creator?
- How can they know the One who made them?
- What is their purpose here on earth?
- What happens to people when they die?
- Why is there so much suffering in the world if there is a
all-powerful one who can stop it?
- How many good deeds must one do to get to heaven/nirvana/paradise?
A strong faith shared by a couple can be one of the most important
elements in building a blissful relationship. But different faiths
are powerful enough to destroy families, marriages and even
countries.
About the author - Michael Webb, well-known relationships expert has
interviewed and observed many of the "top 1%" couples and he has
found quite a few similarities in couples who indeed married
"happily ever after."
The couples had common practices when it came to handling hot issues
like in-laws, holidays, premarital sex and household chores.
Best-selling author, Michael Webb has appeared on over 500 radio and
television shows including Oprah, Men are From Mars/ Women are From
Venus, NBC News, 700 Club, The Other Half, Iyanla, To Tell the Truth
and FOX News.
He has been featured in practically every major
newspaper in the United States and is regularly mentioned in the
nation's top magazines like Men's Health, Bridal Guide,
Cosmopolitan, New Man, Women's Day, Family Circle and dozens others.
To learn more about Michael, go to
http://www.davidfrey.us/recommends/ma-50secrets
|
