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Family
Effects of Divorce on Children
By Lisa Dunning, Marriage and Family Therapist
When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of
grief and relief are felt. A recently divorced person will feel
grief over the loss of their marriage and the loss of their partner
in life. But there is also a sense of relief that the pain and
anguish is now over and their healing can begin.
For couples without children divorce is a far simpler process. They
are not continually seeing each other to bring up all those bad
feelings over and over again. When children are involved parents
must learn their new roles and coexist quickly to minimize the
negative effects of divorce on children.
The effects of divorce on children can be very
traumatic.
Some children blame themselves for the divorce,
believing that they caused their parent's divorce due to their bad
behavior or not listening. Some children just shut down after the
divorce and find it very difficult to express their feelings. Often
they look as sad as they feel, withdrawing from friends and
activities they once enjoyed.
The effects of divorce on children can harm
their future.
The effects of divorce on children can be
detrimental to their future relationships. Children sometimes feel
betrayed by their parents, resulting in a mistrust of others. This
inability to trust others hinders their ability to form intimate
relationships.
Parents can minimize the effects of divorce on
children.
The good news is that the effects of divorce on
children can be minimized by their parents. Parents can reassure
their kids that the divorce is not their fault. It is also important
for parents to make their child feel safe by reassuring their child
that they are loved by both parents.
It is also important to let your child know that parents do not
divorce their children. Tell your child that you are available to
answer any questions they might have about the divorce.
The effects of divorce on children will be less severe if the couple
is able to put aside their differences as much as possible and work
together to provide a loving, safe and consistent environment in
both parent's homes.
Lisa Dunning is a California Licensed Marriage and
Family Therapist Specializing in Parent/Child Relationship issues
and the author of "Good Parents Bad Parenting - How To Parent
Together When Your Parenting Styles Are Worlds Apart". She provides
expert advice for television and radio programs throughout the
country and speaks to various parenting groups. To learn more about
Lisa Dunning visit her website at
http://www.LisaDunningMFT.com |
