Archive for the ‘Communication’ Category
How to Skillfully Initiate Discussions with Your Spouse
Communication Communication challenges are a normal part of life, and most couples experience them in their marriages. Many partners have problems initiating a challenging discussion because they fear they will end up feeling worse rather than better. If you have problems bringing up a difficult topic, you can learn the... more
Take a Time-Out to Improve Your Marriage
Communication Discussions and disagreements often pose challenges in marriage. Spouses avoid expressing thoughts, feelings and desires because they don’t want to engage in a conflict. This “conflict avoidance” is very common, and it often involves partners overreacting to each other during disagreements. If ignored, conflict avoidance can cause emotional distancing,... more
The Power of Keeping Your Agreements
Communication Making and keeping agreements with your spouse helps to create trust and respect, but many couples have difficulty with this important skill. When partners don’t follow through with their agreements, the resulting frustration can lead to decreased sexual arousal, increased arguments, and gradual disengagement between partners. However, with a... more
How Increased Empathy Can Help Your Marriage
Communication Have you ever been in an argument with your partner and felt that they didn’t understand you? Worse, they didn’t know that you felt they didn’t understand you; instead they just kept on arguing their point causing both of you to become more agitated. Although you may have explained... more
Four Treacherous ‘C’s for Married Couples
Communication Do you remember the wildly successful 90s television series Seinfeld? My husband and I still occasionally watch the reruns and laugh out loud at the antics of Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George. While the main characters on Seinfeld were often pretty crazy, some of the periphery characters on that... more
How to Help Your Spouse Open Up
Communication Bernadette and Bud adored each other and were happily married for about three years. Bud believed that Bernadette was his perfect match because she was fun, attractive and bright; she could discuss world politics like a pro, and he reveled in their stimulating discussions. Bernadette thought Bud was her... more
The Art of Reflective Listening
Communication As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I listen to a lot of marital arguments. Sometimes the arguments get so heated that I feel more like a referee than a therapist! Other times, the partners are so frustrated with each other that they don’t speak directly to one another at... more
Ineffective Conflict Styles in Marriage
Communication If I had to pick just three words to describe marriage, I would steal a quote from a mentor of mine, Dr. Harold Wahking. His quote is this: “Marriage is therapy.” And just like therapy, what we put in is often what we get out. With over half of... more
Five Steps to Successfully Manage Disagreements
Communication Couples disagree about a vast array of things such as what constitutes a clean house, how to discipline the kids, how often to have sex, how much money to put away in savings, how to argue appropriately, and which partner actually has a communication problem. Having a disagreement is... more
Other Points of View
Communication To completely accept your spouse, you must also accept and respect their points of view even if you don’t understand their point of view. more
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