Archive for the ‘Communication’ Category
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Communication All couples disagree. This can be a healthy component in any relationship. But when disagreements become knock-down, drag-outs, or are petty and constant, they will begin to cut down on the lifespan of a relationship. Many disagreements are petty, and though some may signal a larger problem (e.g. fighting... more
The Anger-Dependent Marriage
Communication Sandy and Greg had been married for ten years, had two healthy kids and were committed to family values. They had one major problem — they couldn’t seem to disagree without getting into a fight. Within five minutes of a therapy visit, they were both bickering. Sandy would make... more
Unplug So You Can Plug Into Your Marriage
Communication In the information age it seems there’s no end to devices to help us stay connected. There are all sorts of mp3 players, tablets, laptops, desktops, gaming consoles and other devices that help keep us informed of the latest and greatest in the world and they’re all becoming increasingly... more
Perspective: The First Step to Effective Communication
Communication Real communication is a staple of any successful relationship. This means more than a quick conversation over dinner, or half-listening to the TV while your spouse is talking. Real communication occurs when both parties are invested and interested in the conversation. Communication is a dialogue, not a monologue. One-Sided... more
How to Skillfully Initiate Discussions with Your Spouse
Communication Communication challenges are a normal part of life, and most couples experience them in their marriages. Many partners have problems initiating a challenging discussion because they fear they will end up feeling worse rather than better. If you have problems bringing up a difficult topic, you can learn the... more
Take a Time-Out to Improve Your Marriage
Communication Discussions and disagreements often pose challenges in marriage. Spouses avoid expressing thoughts, feelings and desires because they don’t want to engage in a conflict. This “conflict avoidance” is very common, and it often involves partners overreacting to each other during disagreements. If ignored, conflict avoidance can cause emotional distancing,... more
The Power of Keeping Your Agreements
Communication Making and keeping agreements with your spouse helps to create trust and respect, but many couples have difficulty with this important skill. When partners don’t follow through with their agreements, the resulting frustration can lead to decreased sexual arousal, increased arguments, and gradual disengagement between partners. However, with a... more
How Increased Empathy Can Help Your Marriage
Communication Have you ever been in an argument with your partner and felt that they didn’t understand you? Worse, they didn’t know that you felt they didn’t understand you; instead they just kept on arguing their point causing both of you to become more agitated. Although you may have explained... more
Four Treacherous ‘C’s for Married Couples
Communication Do you remember the wildly successful 90s television series Seinfeld? My husband and I still occasionally watch the reruns and laugh out loud at the antics of Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George. While the main characters on Seinfeld were often pretty crazy, some of the periphery characters on that... more
How to Help Your Spouse Open Up
Communication Bernadette and Bud adored each other and were happily married for about three years. Bud believed that Bernadette was his perfect match because she was fun, attractive and bright; she could discuss world politics like a pro, and he reveled in their stimulating discussions. Bernadette thought Bud was her... more
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