Marriage Advice, Marriage Counseling and Relationship Advice

Anxiety and depression are not caused by a lack of drugs. Drugs do not heal the underlying causes of anxiety and depression. However, when drugs are temporarily used to give a person a window of relief to do the inner work necessary to heal the underlying causes, they can be useful.  So it may be necessary to take some medicine for a period of time while you are receiving counseling so that you are better able to better focus on and resolve your differences.

Whether it’s smooth sailing in our relationships and our life, or we’ve hit some difficult times, it is always time for service.  When we serve our immediate family, or in our community, it lifts our own burdens.  Additionally, it seems to help us have a brighter perspective on our challenges and even find ways to solve or accept their consequences.  So take a moment every day to serve, it will bring a peace in your heart that will help you to better deal with the storms of life.

When your thoughts start spinning out of control from stress or difficult situations within your home and seem to be taking all of your emotional and physical strength, try these tips.  Tip 1 - “Is it true?”  Is the thought you’re focused on true?  For example, my husband came home late again with a flimsy explanation; therefore, he’s having an affair.  Discard it if you don’t absolutely know it’s true.  Tip 2 - What emotional/physical response do I allow with this thought?  Once you ID the feelings, you and adapt them. Tip 3 - Who am I without this thought?  You will discover a happier and more peaceful self if you follow these 3 tips.  Then, deal with what’s real!

How often do we give it our all at work or in our community services and serve up left overs in our family?

Think about it for a moment, were do we spend the biggest amount of our time and energy each day?  Obviously, we have to work for a living, so we can’t always give the most time, but we certainly can give our best effort.

What a pleasant surprise it is for our families if we give them more than they had expected.  Even if it isn’t as much time that we have to spend at work.  If we go the extra mile with our family, it speaks volumes of our love for them.

It’s so important that we DO NOT become hyper-focused on our marriage and family relationships.  If we do, we will get caught up in the thick of thin things and minor events become major dramas.

We need to take the time to work at something that we enjoy and is worthwhile.  Then we can focus our energies in a variety of places rather than just focus on our family.  In the long run, our family will benefit so much more.

Lets just make it perfectly clear up front, marriage does not assure you of unlimited great sex.  The strength of your emotional intimacy with your spouse has a direct impact on your physical intimacy.  Developing good communication, sensitivity, empathy and a host of other qualities that will build your emotional intimacy will require work and determination.  Only then does the truly great sex follow.

A sexless marriage is not a marriage doomed to divorce, but it is a marriage with a serious problem.  There are many feelings that occur in a sexless marriage such as feelings of loneliness, listlessness, confusion, lack of confidence and others. 
 
They are challenging feelings to overcome, but not insurmountable.  It’s important to discover the reason why you and your spouse are no longer sexually active, once this has been figured out and resolved, other things will fall into place.

You might find the need to include in your busy schedule time to be intimate.  Although spontaneity is great, which would you prefer, sex between two exhausted people, late at night after the kids are down, the dishes are done and the laundry is washed. 
 
Or perhaps it’s more appealing first thing in the morning, half asleep, with bad breath?  Now picture a wife climbing out of a relaxing candle light bath applying enticing lotions and meeting her husband in bed with a smile and a twinkle in both of their eyes. 
 
If sex is important, it is worth treating it as a key part of keeping yourself and your family running smoothly and being sure to include it in your busy schedule.  If it’s in the schedule, you’ll find other opportunities for spontaneity.

With all that has been said, don’t let the perpetrator of an affair try and blame you for their actions.  Even if they felt that their needs were not being met, there are so many other avenues that could have been taken to help work through their problem. 
 
These avenues would have strengthened the marriage and opened up lines of communication that would benefit the marriage for years to come.  Taking the low road to an affair clearly shows their level of commitment, or lack there of, to your marriage.