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Relationship
Make The Most Of "Mistakes"
By Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D .
It's so easy to feel embarrassed and humiliated by
the dumb stuff we all do. You've no doubt tried to hide the evidence
that would expose you. And every one of us has lied to cover up our
mishaps. But what about turning moments that might be thought of as
mistakes into part of your intimate family history?
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"Lamb Stoup"
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The other day Judith decided she would make lamb
stew. But she didn't have any flour to thicken her concoction. So
she thought by mashing up some of the cooked potatoes and putting
that into the mix it would do the job. Well, it didn't. So what she
ended up with was a pretty runny mix.
She told Jim about her experiment and then served
him what was a kind of stew and sort of like soup. So Jim started
calling it "stoup." Lamb stoup.
Now "stoup" is part of our intimate history and an
endearment that will be with us for a long time.
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Keep The Crack
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And then another time Jim used an antique piano
stool he'd bought for Judith as a step stool to fix a window blind.
Oops! The mahogany seat cracked and it now wobbled when Judith sat
on it to do her make-up. At first she couldn't understand what had
caused the damage, but then she put two and two together -- and
voila! -- she'd solved the puzzle.
Now, she had to reconcile her anger at the broken
piano stool with her compassion for Jim‘s naivete about how delicate
some things can be.
The answer -- to remember that it all came from
love -- both the gift of the stool and the crack that happened while
Jim was lovingly fixing the blind. So she decided to get it fixed so
it won't wobble anymore but keep the crack -- because every time she
sees the crack she sees how much Jim's behavior is motivated by
love. And so the cracked piano stool is also part of our family's
romantic lore.
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They're Just "Mistakes"
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How can you see your foibles as simply human,
sometimes pretty funny, sometimes a lot of aggravation, but just
human--and love your humanity while you fix the problem as well as
you can? And how can you get creative and make the most loving
tribute out of your sweetheart's mistakes? After all, they're just
"mistakes."
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Best-selling authors and husband and wife team
Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski offer tips for making the
ordinary moments in your relationship extraordinary.
Just go to:
http://www.makingtheordinaryextraordinary.com |
