|
Relationship
The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship
By Dr. Philip E. Humbert
All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There is
the initial dating and courtship and infatuation period. If the
relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of
building a history as a couple.
If children enter the picture, that is a new phase. Later, there is
another phase of being together as a mature couple with the wisdom
of experience.
We all know that it is possible to keep passion,
romance, excitement and sexual intensity alive through the years,
but we also know that many relationships settle into a kind of
friendly (or not so friendly) roommate situation. Every relationship
has it’s ups and downs, but there are tools that can keep passion
perking right along. Here are 10 of them:
1. Be kind
I’m writing this on a cruise ship and it’s fascinating to watch
people grouch at their spouses, then turn around and share a
friendly smile with a stranger. We tend to take family and best
friends for granted. A smile, a wink, just a moment of kindness goes
a long way.
2. Be attentive
Paying attention to the details of life is important. Pick up your
own trash, and pick up for each other. Put things away, help each
other with the small projects around the house. These things are the
currency of love.
3. Be gracious
Small surprises can create huge rewards in a relationship. I
think of it as the "Martha Stewart Effect". Taking a moment to put
on a clean shirt before dinner, or using the good china, or cutting
a flower from the garden and putting it on the table, are examples.
All these things add color, spice, and graciousness to our lives.
4. Be patient
We all have bad days. It happens. When it happens to your spouse, be
smart! Take the kids to the park for an hour, order Chinese take-out
for dinner. Give him/her a break! This is the reality of life. Allow
for it.
5. Be honest
Tell the truth about your feelings, and do it promptly and in a
respectful, effective way. Share your disappointments and fears, but
also share dreams, hopes, and gratitude's. Keeping secrets kills
passion.
6. Be funny
Life seems to have supply its own stress and worry, but we have to
provide the humor on our own. Share a joke, take time to tickle each
other or rent a funny movie, and do it often. The couple that laughs
together, often does other fun stuff together, too!
7. Be flexible
Over a lifetime, people change. Hopefully, your relationship will
change and grow and mature with as you change. One of you will
change careers, the other will change religions. One will have an
illness, the other will make a mistake. Relationships either bend
and flex with the winds of life, or they break.
8. Be generous
I’ve saved the best for last. After a survey of dozens of couples,
the big 3 items that showed up over and over began with "give little
gifts". Surprise each other with flowers, candy, a card, or other
gift. Do it often. Do it for no particular reason. Do it because you
love each other and thought it would be nice to show it with a gift.
9. Be available
The second of the "big 3" was "take time for each other". Schedule
time to walk and talk, go for drives in the country, go to dinner
and see a movie together. Dozens of couples ranked time together as
the most critical component in keeping romance and passion alive.
10. Be physical
This is about sensuality perhaps more than sexuality. Couples talked
about the importance of scents, of candles and flowers and walks on
the beach. They talked about making love, but mostly they talked
about back rubs and holding hands, and creating memories.
They talked about getting dressed up and going out, and they talked
about skinny-dipping. They talked about being playful and finding
their own way. You can do this!
Someone has said, "Life is what happens while you
were making other plans." Romance is about real life, not about
dreams and fantasies of the perfect partner, someday on a Pacific
island. Romance and passion are about taking time to enjoy the
company of the person you love. Have fun. Do it today!
© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights
Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter
or on your website as long as you include the following information:
"Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success
coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources
for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his
website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com |
